Within Me

Capturing the mesmerising beauty,
The sole virtue that God gifted me.
Destiny had bestowed upon me this duty,
A small treat for the eye of the world to see.

The dingy room and that crooked corner,
In the dim and haze I lie and ponder.
Quiet are the colours of which I am the owner,
Awaiting the break of the silence, I wonder.

I paint, big,bright,blue and beautiful.
Contrary to the dim, dull, dreary day.
The portrait's finesse, features, fantabulously full.
My work, silent, simple, savoury you say.

The eye of the artist is sharp, the mind strong.
Observant and meticulous at every gaze.
Possesses abilities to bend you from right to wrong,
Sketch the hidden you, without the need of a trace.

My passion and patience for intricate detail
Symbolic is the picturesque infinity around.
My God isn't a deity, only my canvas I hail
The portraits I define, for me are profound.

I desire that each portrait pertains pleasing perfection
Worth each drop of salty sweat and sweet blood.
I paint my heart out unlike the general convention
Inumerable paradoxes and controversies I have always stood.

Each painting in disguise is a tale in its own.
Every moment,each character, captured and sown.
I make angels and demons dwell together.
The ironic threads of life hanging to a light feather.

Still trying to sketch out the devil inside
The need to exile him forever.
With him within, my actions I can't decide
Will I do away with this insanity, ever?

I paint to vent, which I do to survive.
Closer to heaven will I get when I drive him aside.
From the crusades of sin will I then revive?
I will then create my masterpiece, in which I'll bestow my pride.

JIGSAW

Countless pieces,countless memories.
People around me constantly vary.
Piece by piece,part by part,
I gather those links to my jigsaw.

Each portion, a certain phase.
Each piece, a person with a different face.
Each person, important somehow.
Each missing link, a deadlock in the maze.

Keen on finishing my puzzle,
The nick of time, my head in front of the muzzle.
Scrambled was its look during the rush,
Abstract stuff always created a fuss.

At the time of those terrifying storms,
My jigsaw turned down, the pieces scattered.
Lost and recollecting memories, I tried fixing it.
Storm by storm, my pieces loosened.

Some of them refuse to fit,
Some lost forever.
Creating new memories, resembling a new jigsaw.
My recreation I couldn't recognize.

Years and years since I created my jigsaw.
It has changed unanimously.
In learning ways of life it has helped me magnanimously.
But, it's not what it always seems it is.

I still love playing with pieces.
Trials and errors, aiming for the perfect fit.
Somehow I managed to fill the vents.
One beautiful piece is still missing.

Never did I find a piece so perfect.
They never seem to fit or are just loose.
Still searching for that one piece,
For that storm eyes my glee.

Moving through I found a piece,
Still analysing the dimensions around.
Perfect! it's now upto the piece to see.
I guess you're the piece, that completes me.

DREAMERZ

Gazing at the infinity above,
The dreams that lie within subdue.
Contemplating on the survival without love.
Only waiting for your turn in the bizarre queue.

Life simply takes you for a ride sometimes.
Unaware the puppets of God dance around.
Each puppet only desires to be ALONG TIME???
The dumb puppets just follow without making any sound.

On the first light at dawn they move.
The labour for food and shelter is perspiring.
Bodies synonymous to machines with a million grooves.
The puppets dream of something worthy,something inspiring.

Smooth roads never make good drivers,
Constantly tested and required to prove your mettle.
Only a strong gust of wind is seeked by the aspiring high fliers.
A prolonged expectation of which is fatal.

How long is this ordeal gonna be?
Why out of the billion only me?
Why doesn't my pitiful state anyone see?
Is this what destiny has in store for me?

On the quest for those unanswered answers,
Summoning each one in the vicinity alive.
All comprising of the same struggling dreamers,
All I want is some answers,I need to survive.

Trying to look beyond the failures of the world.
Failing to peep inside your own
You decided your path,be it straight or curled,
The pretence of reaping what is already sown.

All you need is a little hope,
A small bit of generosity or benevolence.
Restricting your mindset from the latest dope.
Investing your skills in something that made more sense.

That tiny belief can single-handedly perform wonders.
The only strenuous part is to know yourself.
Your unknown virtues on which you ponder,
Emerge as a winner,who knows himself.

Don't walk as if you rule the world,
Walk as if you don't care who does.
Insanity and spasm in which you were hurled.
Move out with faith and a pure heart that loves.

Be yourself,and be honest about it.
Do not hesitate to claim what is yours.
Do guide others with the torch you lit.
Look behind and see the ego that was before yours.

Dream on my friend and strive to achieve them.
Stop living like a loser in a godless life.
Have an optimism that nothing can overwhelm.
Live the dream,love the dream n fulfill your life..

Conflicting Conscience

Deep within those buried souls,
Deep within those endless goals.
Perished and parched,my virtues taken.
Wriggling survival in this God forsaken.

I climb,climb hard to reach heaven's brink,
No pleasure,no pain,I constantly sink.
Conflicting scenarios battling within me.
Questioning what my conscience fails to see.

An obstruction around every corner.
Mishaps averted pertaining all my power.
Topsy n turvy personified me,
Procrastination as a virtue I show to thee.

My subconscious keeps me pondering all night.
Jeopardise my thoughts,hampers my insight.
Conflicting with the emotions of my adorable.
Convincing the irony on her being deplorable.

The reality or illusion I choose for survival.
My primacy for me being primal.
Adhering to the promises that I made,
My tyranny onto me I try and evade.

Trying to grasp what is beyond the shore,
Constantly torn and raped like an ugly whore.
My inside altered beyond recognition.
A taste of my sins and their redemption.

I gaze at the echoing emptiness around.
My words hit back,slash at me like a hound.
The chaotic campaign has cramped my mind.
Contemplating on it is nothing but a churn in the grind.

How I crave for that love,will they ever understand?
I'm simply the writhing snake in the 'speckled band'.
Unaware n unperturbed of my own sly drill.
The one who tamed me is the one I kill.

PLACIDITY

It isn't perturbing to be alone,
Nor it needs to be shown.
Only a little disbalance towards the wrong end,
Toppling over and around shall be the trend.
An undesirable pinch on a sensetive nerve,
That dislodge and the following swerve.
That attempt to startle in disguise,
Failed totally what you had despised.
Reflecting withdrawal symptoms from sanity,
Revealing a disclosure, full of disparity.
Prohibiting my conscince from overlooking the obvious.
Truth in disguise suddenly felt vicious.
Inability to gather strength from a pure soul,
Instability and the desire within makes me bawl.
Beyond reckoning now the gaping hole,
Exasperating the need for your role.
Plunged in that emptiness abound,
Cause its a circle, what goes comes back around.
Amplified is the treble through circumstances,
What was a self initiated clutter when I took my chances.
Bruised and numb synonymous to my foreground,
Now soothing to the ears is the silence of sound.
Pertaining to the ideologies around, I'm a goner,
Soon shall it be finished, rather sooner.
I'm baffled, from where came this toxicity.
Is this insanity,or simply PLACIDITY???

LANTERN

Amidts the haze and shade around.
The plethora of fog that surround.
Lost and trembling in the dew.
The lonely desert be survived by only a few.
The bright sheen arose from nowhere.
That instant put my life in gear.
Took my hand and navigated me through.
Steered the ship that had no crew.
Turned my life upside down
Like a beggar been made in charge of the crown.
The ecstasy that I felt inside.
All memories undone were shoved aside.
My prayer and patience has finally been answered.
Extinguished is the fire from which I was always scared.
You walked in everything was messed up.
All around things were so freaked up.
Time spent with you has always been so memorable.
Swept so much that emotions felt intangible.
You got my life back on track.
Fixed up everything that was before abstract.
How can I ever thank you for all the help and suport?
Your constant motivational help and effort.
Took me out of the stress and trauma.
Revived from tragedy to melodrama.
Felt pathetic when I leaving you.
Imagining the next moment when I'd see you.
Before you the entire world seemed deceiving.
Wanted to hug you one more time before leaving.
I promise, with you I'l never fall behind.
My thought process as it was will never rewind.
Together we will walk hand in hand.
You being my lantern, our love will forever expand....
MUAH...

UNDONE

Sarcasm behind every compliment.
Irony concealed in every line.
Double meaning words you implement.
Stuff you say bites me like a K-9.

Contemplating on your thought process.
The dilemma that you lie beneath.
And even if the bitter truth you confess.
Is powerful enough to remove the surface underneath.

Unbearable was the pain that you put me in.
The numbness that injected you.
Excruciating is the punishment of the sin.
How will I ever explain this love to you?

It was never intentional.
Never did I mean a single word of it.
You thought this was my only fundamental.
To look down upon each bit.

You stepped into my life willingly.
When the entire world was against you.
I loved you exceedingly.
May be, that love was never enough for you.

The innocent sweet girl that you were.
Perhaps the sweetest person I've ever known.
Much more than me you deserve.
So by me, on cloud 9, you were flown.

My 'Delicate Darling' I called you.
You insisted on it being antagonistic.
Handling romance was difficult for you.
So, I wrote letters that were bombastic.

The others took you for a ride.
Made you follow their lead.
On job being done they shoved you aside.
Like a worm for the fish to feed.

Couldn't accept the harsh reality.
I initiated an alteration.
To bring a change in you, if not the society.
It was inevitable to undergo this desparation.

Unquestionable is the fact that I was mean.
I did hurt you terribly.
Tried to keep my conscience unseen.
You did put an effort, which I notices vaugely.

I didn't notice things going haywire.
The slow poison that injected your veins.
You got suffocated, so much so, you couldn't respire.
It stimulated a havoc in your brain.

Things going out of hand.
I decided to break free.
Excusing something more than you I deserve.
Hurt and shattered, you seemed to agree.

Realising my mistake, the moment I siad it.
Guess, it was too late to consider.
Another chance? The heart was badly hit.
Antipodal as we are, it's going to hinder.

I cired, begged and wept in pain.
Apologised like a maniac.
Knew without you I'd no longer be sane.
Stark reality like nightmares made me insomniac.

More than a year and a half has passed.
You wouldn't even remeber a speckle.
My memories by you have been stashed.
But, I can recall everything, even your tiniest freckle.

The motive was right, the protocol wrong.
Only desired a better change.
Also the implementation was a bit prolong.
The person I best knew now seemed so strange.

Lost in the process of helping you out.
Trust me, I don't want a single credit for it.
I know you hate me in and out.
Your heart now burns with the spark I lit.

Nether do I expect, nor have any demand.
This task of mine is still 'UNDONE' to you.
I just pray your koys flourish and expand.
How will I ever explain this love to you??

Take Care....

I WALK ALONE

I wrote this for one of my best friends ever on his bday...

I WALK ALONE

Complacency is a choice of self.

I’m walking along.

Moving unnoticed like a dwarf elf.

Humming the same old song.

Lying around in secluded spots.

Camouflaging behind every other wall.

Lonely and alone, I trot.

Moving from dawn till dusk fall.

The material world is distant from me.

Money or bling I cannot feel.

Drama and literature i can’t see.

The blinded sight may never heal.

Coming to terms with the present situation.

Living with the troubles abound.

I’v had enough of this retribution.

The soul that’s lost cannot be found.

Tried hard to stay in touch.

Life had me so messed up.

Taking a look at my memory pouch.

The nostalgia left me totally f**ked up.

All the lovely memories seem so vague now.

The days seem to have vanished.

All I wish is to be back somehow.

Life without you has noticeably perished.

The phones forgot how to ring.

Voices seem to have fade.

The laugh that echoed when we used to sing.

When we got high and had a parade.

It’s a pathetic feeling to see you aren’t there.

I’m really sorry, cause things here have changed.

Life here is already enough a burden to bear.

Please don’t assume it’s something that I feigned.

I still remember and I still care.

It’s just that I don’t express it.

Without me, u’d still fare.

But in our pic, no one in place of me can fit.

Time goes by so slowly.

It just seems yesterday that I turned eighteen.

The party in which gaily.

The magic we created will never lose its sheen.

I’m too stuck up here you see.

I hope you understand.

This place is entirely alien to me.

My mind is not even willing to expand.

I’m not psychedelic, I’m not dyslexic.

I’m just usually broke.

My nineteenth and I haven’t even clicked a pic.

Just gulped a large peg with some coke.

Don’t shed tears for me.

I’m telling you I’ve changed.

Can only expect you to empathise you see.

I see no reason for me being entertained.

Just wana say one more thing.

I still exist, and I’m alive.

Walking along I still sing.

I’m working real hard to survive.